You think that Canadian are smiles, beer and hockey, eh?

Well you are wrong my friend.

Not only is the great northern menace trying to lay claim to the Canadian Arctic (buggers even named it after themselves) by planting flags and stranding Inuit peoples to starve on Canadian claimed territories, but they are now infiltrating the very foundations of American higher education.

Today in the Chronicle of Higher Education (that venerable rag), there was a story about how Canadian propagandists are reworking the primary source of knowledge for American high school and university students (and maybe a few professors as well). In the Wired Campus edition, it was noted that 11,000 -that's right, eleven thousand - entries of the online encyclopedia, Wikipedia, had been edited by Canadians. Not just any Canadians, rightfully-fearful readers, but Canadians with ip addresses that are tied to Canadian government computers.

No doubt, now-terrified readers, you are wondering how Canadian propagandists are changing the great forge of American knowledge from which so many of my students see as the only font of information around. Will Canadians be smugly changing entries so that American youth question the evils of socialized medicine, multilingualism and a reasonable immigration system?

It doesn't appear that that is the case just yet. As we read in the Chronicle article:

Despite Wikipedia’s monitoring, one user with an Internet-protocol address at the House of Commons repeatedly removed material from the encyclopedia’s entry on homosexuality, replacing it 24 times with terse statements like “Homosexuality is evil.”

Huh...

I admit I was a bit perplexed at this tact by the Canadian Politburo. At first I thought that this surely must be what Albertan patronage appointments must do in Ottawa for kicks; having neither the wherewithal to do anything useful with themselves, nor the ability to break through the neocolonial powers of central Canadian politics. But what I think is really going on is this: these edits in Wikipedia are part of a grand conspiracy of Canadian professional bureaucrats to further the right-wing agenda of the American social conservative movement, thereby leveraging Canada's warm and fuzzy reputation in the world as a bastion of weak-socialist liberalism. Upon successfully distracting/lulling the world, that's when they will spring forth in their black helicopters and begin the True North One World Government.

Very clever, vile canucks... very clever indeed.